Common Places

A commonplace book is a place to keep scraps of your favorite poems, pressed flowers, what an old woman whispered to you on the bus, or dreams.
This is mine.
beatboxgoesthump:


THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

i fucking love the shit out of this.

This is fucking perfect.

beatboxgoesthump:

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

i fucking love the shit out of this.

This is fucking perfect.

(via mishkabeesh)

  1. iflywiththugs reblogged this from supgorgeousily
  2. anastasiadudeeee reblogged this from valentinaartale
  3. satans-retreit reblogged this from notsobadbeingtrendy
  4. notmuchdoing reblogged this from theunknownbone
  5. alice-meetsamushroom reblogged this from thefunnygentleman and added:
    THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS! AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED. AND...
  6. lovingly-i-hate reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  7. aileenyumchan reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  8. sparksflynight reblogged this from imtatya
  9. imtatya reblogged this from jerchannel
  10. graceefreshh reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  11. jerchannel reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  12. matteroftimee reblogged this from alexohbuddy
  13. ini-gurl reblogged this from morganremley
  14. amazingprocrastinator reblogged this from brittanyandbeware
  15. memyselfantime reblogged this from unicornsparkles34
  16. hayley11999944 reblogged this from armyofgregs
  17. plutothegreat reblogged this from alwaysawanderlust and added:
    So fucking accurate.
  18. imauglyscenekid reblogged this from seeme-nother
  19. kayelledoubleyu reblogged this from thefunnygentleman and added:
    I usually don’t reblog things… But I just had to LOOOL!
  20. lalalaalucy reblogged this from our-smiles-wont-die
  21. poisonaffection reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  22. musikismylifee reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  23. angelabergantim reblogged this from supgorgeousily
  24. suspiciousdevil reblogged this from armyofgregs
  25. muaiii reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  26. creepy-kids reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  27. lemonsandclouds reblogged this from thefunnygentleman and added:
    lololol „ my ovaries ! XD
  28. natalielove4 reblogged this from prettylittlestonerss
  29. princesscocoa reblogged this from justa-lonely-star
  30. armyofgregs reblogged this from trinityice
  31. irunwithdmc reblogged this from janayecaroline
  32. with-her-eyes-of-blue reblogged this from cherrryvanilla
  33. hannahjean819 reblogged this from youneedtogetlikeme
  34. caitnicholeyuno12 reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  35. holesnewsiesfreak reblogged this from thefunnygentleman
  36. forever-and-always-lost reblogged this from valentinaartale
  37. elishanoelle reblogged this from nonexistant-flirtations
  38. prettylittlestonerss reblogged this from cherrryvanilla
  39. valentinaartale reblogged this from xo-iseverythingyoubelievein